I wasn't quite sure what to expect as today began. I've been crying a lot lately, and knew that there would be more tears to be had in a few short hours as today was the day we would be laying to rest the body of my grandfather.
I'm weary and feel worn, and hollow lately. This is partially due to my job front and coming off a successful, but albeit exhausting, retail holiday season. The past few weeks have been to no avail either as we immediately pushed into preparation mode for our store inventory. We finished the task last night while simultaneously my family was attending a visitation for GrandDaddy at the funeral home.
Before 2012 even began, I had to bid farewell to my uncle as well. The void that is left from his absence is certainly felt, but for the sake of this entry I will only focus on today. That being said it is dearly important to know this fact as it certainly influences my current state of being.
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I managed to make Liam breakfast and get us out the door by 8:15a or so for an appointment to get the oil changed in our family car (a Corolla mind you - because without a doubt, Toyota must be in the gene pool after all the Camrys my grandparents have owned!). Maybe not the most ideal time to get this accomplished, but it was due for service and we wanted to get this accomplished before taking this vehicle on any major road traveling.
Melissa was taking a half day off of work today so that she could attend the funeral alongside me. We got on the road as quickly as we could, but there was no doubt about it - it was going to be a tight fit to arrive on time. I think we ended up squeaking in about 2 or 3 minutes late.
When I was getting ready to leave I decided to shave off the goatee for the occasion which had grown over the holiday season. Perhaps for several reasons. I wanted to dress sharply for my grandfather. I actually shave with a double-edge safety razor which I feel is homage enough to his generation, but I wanted to have a clean shave to honor his service in the military as well. My grandmother was always particular about my sister having her hair in a french braid so that grandmother could always see Lisa's radiant face without stray hairs getting in the way. Perhaps, my shaving was a male version of the like. Regardless, in my small world it was a way to show respect to him.
My father was dressed "to the 9's" today in a navy suit with a lavender shirt and a matching grey/lavender grid tie. All of his clothes were from my store. I thought about this after the fact, but it makes me feel good to think that this was a quiet reflection of accomplishments of mine. Since beginning the position in November of 2010 I have already been promoted and I may be in line to be promoted again within a few short months. I think GrandDaddy would be proud of me... I know he is proud of me and all that I have accomplished. I have a loving wife, a handsome son, a Christian household, a strong work ethic, and a lifestyle that is financially prudent without the load-bearing shackles of debt and strife. I attribute this to the wisdom imparted through the family tree and I am lucky enough to have grafted a spouse like Melissa into my own bloodline that has the same character pedigree.
My sister, Lisa, is a remarkable, accomplished woman and friend. She and my dad both spoke today at GrandDaddy's memorial service but being a fellow grandchild I am especially thankful for her speaking. Lisa, is the eldest of us four grandchildren and whether due partially to that or just her personality, or both she had a very special relationship with Granddaddy. She could take his guff and give it right back to him. Furthermore, she had the same poise and reserve in her deliberate choice of words that can deliver such a tenacious bite that it can put someone squarely in their place and she did just that with GrandDaddy on more than one occasion. It is due to this unique ability of hers combined with the close-knit relationship she had with him that allowed her to due some verbal "threshing" to depart the chaff from the wisdom. I am SO thankful for that wisdom too. I wish that I could have fielded GrandDaddy's questions with the same clout that my sister had with him, but she and I are different. As my dad later mentioned about how he and his brother have their different strengths and weaknesses it is the same for Lisa and I. Dad sees GrandDaddy in my Uncle Jim. I see him in my Sister. And just as much as Jim is my dad's "rock," Lisa is mine.
GrandDaddy knew that I was going to turn out alright. That as bright, hard-working, and as good as I am with people, that I was going to be successful at whatever I set out to do. To quote my sister:
"Today, I am clearly a better person for the impact GrandDaddy had on my life. I think we all are. I have no illusions that he was perfect or that he always had the right words, but I know his intentions were pure."
His words weren't always right. His questions could feel disapproving of my life course, but intentions were ALWAYS pure - the best for me and my future. His legacy carries on in this way also... through the will of my sister (and no, she doesn't always have the right words for me either, but pure intentions no doubt. Again how she is like Granddaddy), and my father for me. GrandDaddy's legacy also carries on in what I wish for Liam and any future children Melissa and I hope to have some day.
At his grave side what struck me most were the sounds and regalia. Due to his service in WWII the US military gave him honors and presented the US Flag to my Grandmother. "Taps" was beautiful on the flugalhorn and unlike any other cemetery that I have been to this one was unique in that there were wind chimes everywhere. It brought me such peace to listen to them. Wind chimes always have.
GrandDaddy's love and values are something that we as his grandchildren are working hard to instill into the children of our own so that one day these same love and values may be passed on to their children's children. You have so much to be proud of, GrandDaddy. And I am SO proud to be called your Grandson.
Today
9 years ago
